21 things I’ve learned since turning 21

I turned 21 on February 14th and although this post is a little overdue, I still wanted to share some of the wisdom I have acquired on my journey to adulthood. It’s not been an easy road but I’m thankful for all of the experiences that have contributed to the person I am today. 

1. Happiness is a choice. Both good and bad seasons are temporary. The quicker you accept it the less fearful you are of the unknown because life is full of ups and downs. 

2. Enjoy your youth. Don’t try to grow up too fast, you’ll regret it. 

3. You are an actual adult with actual responsibilities. By law you’re deemed an adult and therefore are responsible for all of your actions.

4. A quarter life crisis is a REAL thing. You start to question your purpose, career choices, relationships, education and a lot more in your 20’s. At times you’ll have no idea where you’re going in life and at times you’ll have 101 plans but still be unsure of how to execute them. But that’s all part of the process. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Things will become clearer to you in due time.

5. Invest in your future. Build the life you want to live in 10 years, now. Nothing worth havings comes easy. So get a head start, lay solid foundations and keep overcoming those obstacles. Nobody owes you anything – so take your future into your own hands!  

6. You will make mistakes. There isn’t a manual to adulting and no matter how much others will warn and try to protect you, in some cases, you can only learn by making mistakes. We can only grow from our mistakes by accepting what we have done and choosing to apply what we have learned from them in our lives.

7. You have to make tough decisions. Becoming an adult means you’re put in positions that force you to make hard decisions that you’ve probably never had to make before. At times you’ll have to sacrifice, giving up the comfort of  doing things things the way you usually would.

8. You’ll stand alone. Sometimes you just need to be in your own company to figure out who you are and what you really want in life. 

9. Bad habits are hard to break. I never really thought that my bad habits would impact everything around me until I literally saw the consequences of my actions affect those around me and how I interact.

10. Stay true to yourself. Staying in your lane, knowing your standards, and limits is really important. Never lose yourself trying to be like someone else or something you’re not. You can ONLY be the best version of yourself.


11. Work on yourself before trying to please anyone else. Although self-development is constant, being single allows you to solely work on yourself without distractions. Work on loving you and don’t wait on a man or woman to validate you. Know your worth then add tax! 

12. “Failing” at something doesn’t mean you have failed. Change your perspective on failure and realise the only time you’ve failed is if you haven’t learnt or grown from your situation. As they say, “never a failure, always a lesson.”.

13. Be spontaneous! I’ve learnt to take opportunities when they present themselves. Travel and do new things – experiences are priceless! 

14. You are number one. Just in case you needed a reminder.

15. Cultivate good relationships. It may seem easier to deal with things on your own but truthfully it’s not. No man is an island and we all need quality people in our lives that we can count on during the bad times and celebrate the good times. Never underestimate a strong support system. 


16. Your mind dictates the direction of your future. Our minds are so powerful because what we think essentially controls how we behave…

17. Please don’t beleive the hype. Forget what we people do on social media and the latest trends. So much is fabricated online and all these “trends” are fleeting. 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Wardo Emerson

18. Consistently really is the key. Whether it be trying to learn a new skill, create good habits or become great in an particular area.

19. Ditch negativity. It serves no purpose in your life whatsoever.

20. Get your health and finances in check. Health is the true wealth. When you’re healthy you can do all things without any limitations so take care of it! Money comes and goes but it’s important to posses good habits when it comes to your finances such as saving and investing. 

21. Give it to God. Put your trust in   God knowing that He has your back in all areas of your life. 

For My Satisfaction


I had us planning our getaways, we would take off and travel the world, embark on a new adventure, explore a foreign land.

Rucksacks on our backs, passports in hand.

Paris first, since that’s the city of romance.

Take a walk around la tour Eiffel and capture a selfie, hashtag it goals for bants.


I pictured us taking strolls along the Bankside, visiting the Saatchi gallery scoping the latest piece of art.

See you were my art, my muse, from a blank canvas I created you, to be the perfect man in my image, shaped and moulded you into fit into the guy I was looking for but my perception of who I thought you were was flawed.

(I made you an idol.)


I allowed the idea of You something to comfort me 2am at night, the one that would capture my thoughts in the middle of me reading on the tube, 
I lost myself in you.


See, I didn’t have to send you nudes to know that I was compromising myself, putting pound signs on my worth (this masterpiece), 
allowing you to place your bid, name your price when I would, stay up all night, sacrificing sleep, stalking your tweets and sending indirects just to grab your attention.

Hoping to build a connection and maybe get some type of affection…


I had me changing myself to satisfy your needs, to be aesthetically pleasing to your eyes, yeah you were that guy I was infatuated with…
I imagined us skin to skin, 

Brown skin so sun kissed,

All your qualities I could list, but hey, let me not go there…

 And let’s be fair, that wasn’t really who you were.

I tried figuring you out amidst the ambiguity,

I said I liked someone with a story

but I realised that most time they need to be left alone 

Dig up the seeds that were sewn

And their souls let free to roam…

 And now, I’ve learned from my mistakes, of creating idols for my satisfaction.

%d bloggers like this: