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Honestly, it’s okay if you don’t have your life altogether. Who does anyway?

Nobody, that’s the honest truth.

Despite what you think, your favourite celebrity or influencer does NOT have it all together.

I can recall the countless number of times when YouTubers and celebrities have come out and confessed that they’re suffering from depression, are broke or end up breaking of their relationships.

We’re often shocked and surprised when they break the news.

But, why should we be?

These people are humans, just like we are.

Blunt Truth No.1: No matter our social or financial status — life’s problems do not discriminate.

One of the reasons why we are shocked when we hear something has gone wrong in a famous persons life is because it never looks like there is anything wrong. Meaning that either: individuals are doing their utmost to portray a “perfect lifestyle” and hide their problems or most likely, we’re interpreting that the life they show us means they rarely have issues — and that’s where the problem lies.

So, let’s backtrack for a second and ask ourselves, what does having your life “together” really mean?

According to the societal norm (bearing in mind we all makeup society), having your life together looks like being financially stable, being recognised for your talents and being one of the best in your field — a.k.a “successful” (which is subjective, but that’s for another post).

The consensus is that these things are considered as “goals”.

This is because we have been conditioned to believe that money, travelling all over the world, smiley selfies, certain body types, a relationship, views, likes, and followers equate to success.

To put it bluntly, this occurs because society capitalises off our insecurities.

“Ultimately, the reason we feel like we’re not doing enough is because we consume too much information about what everyone else is doing instead of focusing on our selves.”

Every time we log onto Instagram or Twitter we see someone hitting their weight loss goals, landing a new job, building their brand or vacaying in Bali.

We either:

Feel happy for them (or envious).

Feel motivated to get ours too (or discouraged).

Then, in the back of our minds start to think:

“I’m not doing enough.”
“I’m moving too slow.”
“Why haven’t I done x, y and z yet?”

Think about it.

If we didn’t know what everyone else was up to would we still feel as unaccomplished?

Would we still get worked up, anxious, upset and depressed because we are “not where we are supposed to be”?

In 2016, I wrote a post on my blog entitled ‘You don’t have to have your life together by your early twenties’. I wrote this because I too felt the pressure to “have my ish together” based on what I had seen online and could see the same frustration amongst my peers.

Two years on and the issue has intensified for most of us.

And it probably won’t get any better until we self-regulate our thoughts and media consumption.

Blunt Truth No. 2: You need to switch your attention from what others are doing to what you need to do to get ahead in your life. Even if that means quitting social media for a while or for good.

If we want to stop feeling like losers and actually make something for ourselves we have to stop focusing on what others are doing. We have to shift our perception on how we see ourselves and the world and remind ourselves that whatever we want requires sacrifice and dedication.


Here are some truths to help you:

Anything worth having doesn’t come easy.

Your REAL-LIFE journey is unique to you so don’t get yourself down comparing your life to a curated feed.

We have no idea what people go through to get what they have.

“If we all put our problems on the table we would quickly grab ours back.”

Lastly, anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.

You are special and there is no one else like you on this earth.

Your life matters.

Your voice matters.

Your purpose is the most important thing you need to focus on.

After lots of introspection, taking social media breaks and maturing over time, I have learned to take what I see on social media with a pinch of salt because not everything is what it seems.

I hope you do too.

Too Young To Be Feeling This Old

When Drake said “I’m really too young to be feeling this old” in ‘Over’, I felt that.

Have you ever experienced those times when you feel old but then you come to your senses and realise you’re not as old as you think you are? Yeah, I’m talking about those days when you feel drowned in responsibility that you’ve forgotten what fun feels like. For the last couple of days of days (turned weeks now) I’ve been feeling like this. I feel like adulting has gotten to me now that some things in my life are pushing me to become a more responsible person.

I don’t think the added self-imposed pressure of having my stuff together helps neither. At times I just want to cut off the whole world and live the life of a monk in Thailand. But, there are so many things I want to do and places to travel. I’m only 22. I know I’m young and that there’s so much more to see in life. They say your 20’s is meant to be the best times of your life and honestly, I just want to experience that. I want more spontaneous outings, travel adventures and dinner dates like I see my peers enjoying. I think I need to stop taking things so seriously and live a little. Or live a lot, should I say. Not everything is black and white and I ought to make the most of what I have right now. I’d love to find people that get my circumstances and still want to do stuff with me. I recognise that I need to stop isolating myself when I’m going through stuff… that’s something I work on.

Being level-headed is important but life requires balance and enjoyment is part of that equation. I just need to do more of what excites me and stop using the smallest things like a “lack of money” stop me. There’s ways around everything… I guess the take away point is, you only live one (as Drake would also say) so I should do what I want to do and stop letting excuses stop me. 🤷🏾‍♀️

How to use social media to promote your work

DSC_8851Social media is changing the way we communicate and the way we are perceived, both positively and negatively. Every time you post a photo or update your status, you are contributing to your own digital footprint and personal brand.

– Amy Jo Martin, author and speaker

As part of my 2018 intention to consume less and produce more in my creative work, I have taken a hiatus from social media for two months to review how I can use social media in a more effective way to promote my work, share the things that matter most and to push my business forward.

I believe it’s important to use social media effectively because it gives you an opportunity to show future employers and collaborators who you are and what you can offer. Our social media profiles can be used as a portfolio of work displaying our competencies. Our social media allows us to have impact and influence, even in our small corner of the internet. Don’t feel cringe about your early posts, starting out things will suck but it’s about building momentum and consistency to grow. Also, don’t be afraid to promote yourself heavy. We’re going for it in 2018!



The things we should be doing and posting online to promote our work and build our brands can range from:

  • examples of our work
  • progression of our work
  • collaborating and engaging with others in your field
  • storytelling by documenting the process
  • sharing our thoughts and insights on industry trends discussing relevant ideas/solutions
  • share our interests and desires that show off our personality
  • create good relationships online
  • demonstrate professionalism and “showing up” when it comes to approaching clients and delivering a service, email etiquette etc.

So what are some practical steps for sharing more of your work online?


    For anyone who has a business, I’m sure the first piece of advice you heard was “You need to be online!”. Aside from your website, being on social will enable you to reach more people. So, why are you on social media? Are you trying to get sales, more clients, share your work and have it reach your target audience? Are you here to inspire and motivate others?


    Write them down.

    Always have your ‘why’ in the back of your mind in case you get off track.
    When you know you’re intentions you will be focused. Having a focus means that you know your purpose and are more likely to achieve it, getting what you want out of social media. This way we have control over how we use socials rather than posting and scrolling with no aim.example, I recently uploaded this post to share an interview I did with author of Young Black Males Have Potential, Kevin Munga. I am able to share my work, therefore bringing more attention to my skills and provide value to others in the process.

    Kevin Munga Interview


    Which platform works best for your intended purpose? Is it Facebook? Is it Twitter? Find out and test out its uses (check your analytics and engagement) and stick with the platforms that help you to share your message effectively. Remember, you don’t have to be on every single social media website – just the ones that work well for you.


    POST. Like actually do it. Post the stuff that you really want to share with the world – not what you think you ought to post. No one knows what you’re getting up to unless you tell them. A strategy is key here. Know what type of things you want to post – that will give anyone who comes across your page a clear idea of who you are, what you do and your values. Create a schedule for content you want to post and stay consistent with it.


    Engaging is a big part of sharing effectively because if you engage, others are likely to interact with you, share your work too and promote it. Don’t overlook engagement because essentially people are pushing your work by sharing it and retweeting it etc. Be authentic with your support and approach. If it helps, join groups and communities where you can support each other and create and grow in a much bigger way than you can conceive!


    What has your engagement been like over the last four weeks? Are more people engaging and contacting you? How are the stats and analytics? How do you feel about your work? What matters is putting your work out there consistently and getting better at each time from feedback. When you find what works for you stick at it and if it doesn’t work, try something new, stick with it and review again.

How do you use social media to promote your work? Have you ever really thought about the importance of your presence online? Share them with me in the comments below or if you thought these tips were helpful.