Nobody, that’s the honest truth.
Despite what you think, your favourite celebrity or influencer does NOT have it all together.
I can recall the countless number of times when YouTubers and celebrities have come out and confessed that they’re suffering from depression, are broke or end up breaking of their relationships.
We’re often shocked and surprised when they break the news.
But, why should we be?
These people are humans, just like we are.
Blunt Truth No.1: No matter our social or financial status — life’s problems do not discriminate.
One of the reasons why we are shocked when we hear something has gone wrong in a famous persons life is because it never looks like there is anything wrong. Meaning that either: individuals are doing their utmost to portray a “perfect lifestyle” and hide their problems or most likely, we’re interpreting that the life they show us means they rarely have issues — and that’s where the problem lies.
So, let’s backtrack for a second and ask ourselves, what does having your life “together” really mean?
According to the societal norm (bearing in mind we all makeup society), having your life together looks like being financially stable, being recognised for your talents and being one of the best in your field — a.k.a “successful” (which is subjective, but that’s for another post).
The consensus is that these things are considered as “goals”.
This is because we have been conditioned to believe that money, travelling all over the world, smiley selfies, certain body types, a relationship, views, likes, and followers equate to success.
To put it bluntly, this occurs because society capitalises off our insecurities.
“Ultimately, the reason we feel like we’re not doing enough is because we consume too much information about what everyone else is doing instead of focusing on our selves.”
Every time we log onto Instagram or Twitter we see someone hitting their weight loss goals, landing a new job, building their brand or vacaying in Bali.
Feel happy for them (or envious).
Feel motivated to get ours too (or discouraged).
Then, in the back of our minds start to think:
“I’m not doing enough.”
“I’m moving too slow.”
“Why haven’t I done x, y and z yet?”
Think about it.
If we didn’t know what everyone else was up to would we still feel as unaccomplished?
Would we still get worked up, anxious, upset and depressed because we are “not where we are supposed to be”?
In 2016, I wrote a post on my blog entitled ‘You don’t have to have your life together by your early twenties’. I wrote this because I too felt the pressure to “have my ish together” based on what I had seen online and could see the same frustration amongst my peers.
Two years on and the issue has intensified for most of us.
And it probably won’t get any better until we self-regulate our thoughts and media consumption.
Blunt Truth No. 2: You need to switch your attention from what others are doing to what you need to do to get ahead in your life. Even if that means quitting social media for a while or for good.
If we want to stop feeling like losers and actually make something for ourselves we have to stop focusing on what others are doing. We have to shift our perception on how we see ourselves and the world and remind ourselves that whatever we want requires sacrifice and dedication.
Here are some truths to help you:
Anything worth having doesn’t come easy.
Your REAL-LIFE journey is unique to you so don’t get yourself down comparing your life to a curated feed.
We have no idea what people go through to get what they have.
“If we all put our problems on the table we would quickly grab ours back.”
Lastly, anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.
You are special and there is no one else like you on this earth.
Your life matters.
Your voice matters.
Your purpose is the most important thing you need to focus on.
After lots of introspection, taking social media breaks and maturing over time, I have learned to take what I see on social media with a pinch of salt because not everything is what it seems.
I hope you do too.